17 January 2017

Someone I met today was blind. I was practicing demos with my team today, and I saw Kayte pop in with a man following her. My brain scanned through a million different profiles of people I know through Kayte that would follow her so closely. When I saw that he was holding her elbow, I knew that it was someone unfamiliar to her.

"Hey Maxx, I have someone who might need your help." 

I knew immediately he couldn't see me. He was tall, but the slight hunch in his back. He wore tinted that concealed his eyes, but as he shifted the weight of his backpack, I could see the milky cataract that concealed his left pupil. Although his skin was already tanned, you could tell that it was weathered by the sun. 

"Are you who I speak to today?"
"Yes."
"Do I set my computer here?"
"Uh... No. There's a table we can use elsewhere."
"Can you show me?"

He reached out, and I gave him my hand, not knowing what was appropriate in this situation. He instinctively guided himself to my elbow. I lead him to a tall table that I would take normal customers to. He patted the stool.

"Is this the table?"
"Oh... No. Let me show you."

I took his hand once more and helped him feel the table.

"You can sit if you want to."
"Oh ok. I normally don't sit on chairs like this. It's a stool isn't it?"
"Yeah it is." 

He proceeded to take his computer out of his bag and tried to open it. I corrected for him as he chuckled, muttering he must have put it upside down. 

"I need help. My JAWS software isn't working, and I was told that I might need to start Windows over."
"Alright. Well... It seems like it's not booting into the OS, so I need a technician to take a look at it. But it won't be till an hour from now. Is that ok?"
"Sure."

I proceeded to take his information down, having him guide me through the spelling. I suppose the store was loud, as he asked if I typed his email. I did, he just couldn't hear me typing.

"You have an hour wait, did you want to wait here."
"I think I'm going to eat, can you show me to the front of the store?"

This time, I put his hand on my elbow and walked him to the front of the store. I couldn't imagine navigating this with his walking pole. 

"Is there any food on this floor?"
"Hm... No not really."
"I smell it."
"Well... There's a burger place upstairs and a couple other things, but there's a food court downstairs too."
"Can you show me to the elevator?"

By this time, I was an expert in showing him around. As we walked, I asked him what he usually does with his computer. It was simple, easy stuff; checking his email or writing papers. He used a special scanner to help him read. I led him to the elevator and placed his hands on the elevator buttons. 

"Are you going to have a hard time finding your way back?"
"It'll be alright, I can find someone to help me."

Someone did guide him back later, which was good to see. It was crazy to see someone who had an obvious disability so willing to continue living outside and doing things for himself. At the same time, I felt a little sad. To have to rely on someone for so many seemingly simple things. With the lack of a someone, he relies on his senses to get around. 

I wonder if he feels embarrassed asking for help.. But then again, in the course of one day, 3 people helped him: Kayte, me, and one gentleman who brought him back. People are kind too, and maybe he knows that and either takes advantage of it... Or trusts that people do the right thing.

I'd guess it's the latter. I'm more amazed at the courage it takes to trust people that you can't see. Visual judgment is the first thing people use to assess risk, and that is completely eliminated for him. That's just really... amazing.

16 January 2017

Someone I met today was a Youtuber! He was manipulating a dial with one handle, while supporting a wobbling, unopened tripod with another hand. I watched his balancing act before approaching.

"Couldn't you have opened up your tripod and then recorded yourself?"
"I thought about that after I was done."

We got to chatting and he revealed himself to be an Apple user, but had been wanting to check out the Surface Studio for some time. It was the first time he was seeing one in person, but he had watched so much about them. 

"So what do you do for work?"
"I'm a YouTuber."

On one hand, he looked like someone who wouldn't be a YouTuber. His beard was graying, and a few wrinkles appeared as he talked. He dressed younger than he was, with a printed shirt and baseball cap that reminded me of my friends in college. On the other hand, he stood straighter than some of my friends on their best days, with an energetic excitement coloring his voice.

"What do you do on YouTube?"
"I review Apple products."

He thought that the Surface Studio was cool in comparison to the "gimmick" he believed the Apple touchbar to be. He admired the screen and design, stating it would be awesome to edit videos on. He showed me his channel, scrolling to the exact one where he called it the gimmick bar.

"I make videos too, but nothing like what you do. Mostly just me talking about really silly things. I bought a DJI OSMO Mobile since I'm going to Iceland in March. Figured it would be a fun way to take videos and log too."
"Oh that's cool. I've been taking drone shots."
"Drone shots? Have you seen the Mavic Pro?"
"Yeah! I have one in my bag!"
"Can I see it?"

He proceeded to bring it out and show it to me. I told him I thought it was cool and I asked him what he liked about it so far. He shared that he was able to fly it on the Pali Lookout, without a problem; he cited the strong winds as a cause for potential malfunction. Although, he did use his drones to try and capture the whales on the east side. The sound of the motor becoming more and concerning, and he didn't want to risk it. 

"Is this your first vacation with the drone?"
"Yeah. My wife and I shoot drone videos in the day time and then we go home at night and I edit it all together."
"That's cool. It seems pretty easy compared to the other stuff you do."
"Yeah! Vlogging is super easy. Compared to what I do, I can see why so many of those guys do it." 

I suppose at the end of the day, it's all perception. Vlogging seems rather difficult to edit together, but then again most of mine are pretty complex. I asked him where he was from originally and he said Turkey, having moved to Los Angeles in 2007. 

"How have you liked flying your drone here?"
"I like it so much better. It's beautiful and people here are much nicer. In LA, you can get all the permissions and fly your drone around. But, if the police tell you to stop, you HAVE TO STOP. They can confiscate your drone."
"Wow, that's crazy."
"Yeah. But here, people are so nice, even in LA. In Turkey, not so much."

I suppose to me that was interesting to share. Turkey does have a long, complex history and has been a meeting point of east meets west throughout the years. I believe The Great Schism occurred in Turkey, and just recently they had that weird instance where the media got taken over or seized, depending on which perspective you take on yourself.

I wonder what he thinks about the current social climate, with people feeling unease with the current President-Elect, or the potential cabinet members. Is it worse or better?

In any case, if he thinks vlogging is easy... Guys, I still have a chance!

15 January 2017

Someone I met today is someone I've seen over the past 3 or so years but never talked to. I've been doing the Bridal Expo for a while, if that wasn't already obvious, and the person I spoke to today is one of the models who walks around the showrooms.

"So when you do the expo, do people ever ask you about the dress?"
"No. Most of the time they just say it's a nice dress."

It was weird to hear but that's kind of how I feel about most clothes advertisements. "Oh, it looks nice" is my general feeling. I don't necessarily want to look like what I'm being. But... I guess that's the goal of clothes advertising, be compelling enough to make people want to look like you. Right? 

Maybe. Companies are now about selling a certain lifestyle or image, not just the clothes themselves. Hollister does beachy, Abercrombie does preppy, etc. It can't be the same with wedding dresses, since you don't live your day to day in wedding dresses. At least, most people don't. 

I think that's why having models walk around in wedding dresses isn't a very effective way of getting people to buy the dresses. I mean maybe it is, because you want to see what other styles that bridal store has. It seems hard to sell the dream when your audience is visualizing someone else in it.

What do I know though? I'm someone who's also said she wanted to elope. But...... I also happen to like dresses and trying them on. What looks good on me doesn't necessarily look good on someone else.

And while exhausting, who doesn't want to feel like a fairy wedding princess for a whole afternoon? Pick your style and try on the damn dress.

14 January 2017

Someone I met today was really a group of people: those in the process of getting married. Please forgive me as I had forgotten to write yesterday night, but I'm going to write the post as if it were the day before. I had been up for close to 20 hours and was pretty ready to tear my eyeballs out, so I'm sure you'll be fine with it.  

As I said in the previous post, I occasionally work a the Bridal Expo to help out some friends of mine. Today, I met a bunch of couples who are getting married in the next 2-5 months. I'm not in any place to judge... But then again, I'm not much of a procrastinator. The 5 month mark is a good safe place to be putting the final touches on your wedding. 2 months is seriously cutting it close. You blink and it's gone. Right? 

Then again, I've been doing the Bridal Expo since maybe 2011(?!). It's been a very long time. I've always liked seeing beautiful weddings and understand the work that goes on behind the scenes to make it work. As an outsider looking in, it's easy to say, "Procrastinating?! Terrible!" 

But when I think about planning my own wedding (if I were to get married), some part of me stresses out a little bit. The costs involved, including the consultations, and all these things. I can understand becoming a bridezilla at times. Almost. I say almost because I really don't dismiss disrespectful behavior towards people you've hired. 

Then you have to think about who you invite. My younger brother and mom were appalled at the fact I wouldn't consider inviting most of my relatives.

"You have to!"
"Well... I don't have to do anything."
"Wow!"

The "wow" was mostly my younger brother. I generally prefer more intimate and smaller gatherings anyway, so that's probably why. But pruning the list of people you invite is a nightmare in itself. It's like you're playing marital game theory if you don't want to invite everyone, and also want to consider who they might bring if invited. 

What was insane to me is that some of the people I talked to didn't have venues... And their wedding was in 2 months. Good luck if you're planning to do it at a hotel, since most of those are booked out months in advanced. All these small details just add up to what is said to be one of the most important days of your life. How stressful would it be if you missed one.

I've joked that I would elope every once in a while. While it's unlikely, it's not a terrible possibility. 

 

13 January 2017

Somebody I met today was at the bridal expo. I do the bridal expo twice a year and I very rarely meet people ready to invest a lot of time in a conversation.

The guy I met was in a Storm Trooper outfit. It isn't very often in which you meet people in Storm Trooper costumes, but apparently there was a couple who was going to have a Star Wars themed wedding. Of course I had to ask him the most pressing question in my mind.

 "Is it hot in there?"
"Well... There's a fan in the helmet." 

I looked down at the rest of his costume and saw it was just clothes with a Star Wars shell on top. Who knew those helmets had fans? 

I sure didn't. 

12 January 2017

Someone I met today was a student from Cornell University. That isn't really very interesting in itself. There are a lot of top performing schools here that get people into the prestigious Ivy League constantly. What's different is that the kid I met was from Singapore.

"So why'd you choose the United States to study?"
"Well, the choice was between here and the UK. I looked at the schools, and I found that when you go to the UK, you only study what you're going to school for. I thought that the education here is more holistic."

I don't know what Singapore is like in any regard, so I was curious why he would pick somewhere with a lot of barely hidden unrest. 

"Do you like it in the United States?"
"Yeah I like it so far. There's so much to see and learn that's so different."
"What are you studying?"
"City planning."

A quick Google Search on urban planning in Singapore brings up a very conveniently placed Wikipedia page. It tells you that Singapore has been meticulously planned since day one. It makes me wonder what he thinks of the infrastructure support here, and whether or not he has a taste for the occasionally organic and unorganized ways that cities spread here. Maybe there's something appealing in the perceivable chaos, or maybe it's just a warning to something he should not want to achieve.

I remember back in the 90s it was a big deal when that kid got caned for vandalizing something. There are some crazy laws about being dirty and disrespecting property in Singapore. The laws alone tell you how much they value their public goods and infrastructure, with punishments far more severe than hefty fines. If things appear to be working there, I wonder what they hope to learn from here.

He said that the education is more holistic, so I wonder what he feels about what the current president here. Is it much different from there? I don't believe there is any government entity without woes, but does their administration vehemently oppose each other more than we do here. Is their president or Prime Minister more likely to denounce "real" or "fake" news? Is that normal to him? 

I guess I'm really trying to figure out how much of it is a culture shock in the alarming sense. If it were me, knowing I didn't live here would give me a spectator sort of relief. That the world I'm living in isn't really the world I belong to most of the time. He seemed like he came from an affluent family. I wonder if sending your children to the United States is the norm for richer people in those countries. 

Maybe he sees what already makes America great, and wants to bring it home. Who knows? We parted ways today, after he said that he was going to go visit Hong Kong, a city not necessarily known for having great urban planning. So who knows?

Maybe he likes a little chaos in his day, but so do I.

11 January 2017

Someone I met was really someone I've met before. Multiple times. I first met him when he was starting out his business and used to putz around on an electric scooter. His business has grown since then, owning 2 condos and running both his AirBnbs out of them. He says he gets his guests great stuff, like beer, ice cream, fruits, coffee, and the works. 

"Hey!"
"I'd recognize that voice anywhere!"
"How've you been?"

He gave me the rundown of how his business and app is doing, and his laundry list of where he's going next. In case you're wondering, he's going to Thailand, Georgia, then spending 2 months in Columbia. His Spanish is apparently very poor.  It's also very likely I got his itinerary wrong, but I'm not his mother, wife, or secretary. 

"You still seeing that guy?"
"No."
"Oh it's ok, I think I realized I really just like doing my own thing."

He waxed poetic for a little about how he's single by his choice and how much he loves it. He asked who initiated the break up (me). He apologized that it didn't work out, but I said one of us tends to like to do their own thing (also me). I explained that I generally will do whatever I want or need to; if you're in, cool, if not, I'm still doing it. 

"Yeah, so I was seeing this girl, and she was smoking hot. 24, really athletic, fit. So she spent the night once, and in the morning she asked me if I wanted kids. I told her I would answer if she answered first. She said yes. I told her that as much as I like her and think she's a great girl, I don't want her to stick around waiting for me to change my mind. If we keep seeing each other cool, but I don't want her to miss out on an opportunity for something she really wants if I can't provide it."
"Wow. That's really cool of you."
"Yeah. I mean the sex was amazing, and she was a beautiful girl, but I couldn't do that to someone. I mean we still talk and we're still on good terms. She told me she thought it was cool I did that because no other guy would."

A couple of thoughts went through my mind. It's cool to see someone actively choose to be single and run a successful business. I've met a few people like that over the years. I admire the ambition and appreciate the hustle. I also liked that he was upfront about what he was emotionally available for and what he liked.

At the same time, there was nervous, awkward smiling. Who says that stuff about a girl to someone they are casual acquaintances with and have met like maybe 10 times over six years? Do I really need to know about your sex life with someone else? I mean he is a decent looking guy, not my type, but I could see it. He has reasonable game. 

Do guys really talk that way about girls to random people? I mean it wasn't rude, but it seemed oddly personal. But then again, I don't know the girl and it's not very different from what I'm doing here. I guess really it's this. Talking about someone is one thing, but for me, I feel like sex is a very intimate thing to talk about in a casual setting. Either way, the conversation moved on pretty quickly so it wasn't that bad. He spent more time talking about his current business plan. Like I may have implied, he was more interested in his success than a girl. I guess most successful people are like that. 

At the end of all this, guy gave me his card and told me not to be a stranger. Unsure if being picked up or just wanted to keep in touch with someone who's known him for a few years. 

Either way, will probably email him. Will keep updated on this fellow. 

 

10 January 2017

I met a few someones today. It's crazy because I thought one of them was someone I met yesterday. To be fair, I took a nap around lunch time so it threw off my internal clock.

Someone I met today was at a small specialty shop. Kayte and I were looking around admiring their outdoors themed ware. While I was trying on different sunglasses, the owner overhead me talking about putting glacier water into a tiny bottle to take home. This ended up sparking a conversation.

"Glacier water?"
"Yeah! I'm going on vacation to Iceland and I want to bring a glacier back so I kind of want a small bottle to put it in."
"Why Iceland?"
"I've always thought it was interesting. It's beautiful sure, but it has a really fascinating history."
"You know they're the first people to elect women?"
"I didn't know that. They've always done a good job of self governance. I'm reading the The History of Iceland right now, and even when Iceland was considered a tax land of Norway and was connected to Denmark, they've always been very autonomous." 
"It's too bad we couldn't do that here, or that Hillary [Clinton] couldn't use that as an example."

We shared a laugh and got to talking. The fellow I met was the first guy to bring the Roxy brand here, and is fairly involved in the surfing community because of his relatives. He wore the sun well on his own skin. This man shared with me that he really believes in investing in local businesses, but it's really very expensive. However, he does actively try to share smaller brands with better quality products. He didn't like the way bigger brands did it because it squeezed smaller businesses out which he thought was "too bad."

"I hope you go to Iceland and learn a lot. That's really the point of traveling you know?"
"I hope so. I'm very excited to talk to new people and learn about their mythology and it's going to be so much fun."
"So what's your omiyage? What are you going to bring to them?" 

He was showing us some of the product while Kayte humblebragged that I'm a painter. To be fair, there was a really cute miniature watercolor set that we had been looking at with a cute painting and notebook nearby. I ended up showing him a painting I recently made, and he shared that I should paint while of there. My ever supportive best friend agreed. Of course. (She's really one of the best people I know).

"Oh, why don't you paint here and share it with them!"
"You know, that's not a bad idea."

It's always so interesting to see what people take away from traveling. People experience it differently, and do it for different reasons.

Someone else I met today gets a small blurb because he's traveling and studying psychology all over the world. He had been in Bangkok and Beijing most recently. In our small interaction, he shared he was an introvert and was studying psychology to better understand people around him. When I asked him about what he wanted to focus on, and he said he didn't really know... In fact, that was the only thing he was sure about was that he was trying to find people's motivations and what makes them tick in their decision making... As well as how consistent they are in that decision-making. Also interesting was how he referred to his funding for travel, "Research slush fund." Who calls their grants that? Definitely connotes something different from the term "grant" or "scholarship."

The one thing I was sure about with both of these people enjoyed traveling and both of them enjoyed meeting people for slightly different reasons. The man I had met at the shop shared a parting lamentation:

You call a paradise
Kiss it goodbye

54

Gold is valuable. It exists to look beautiful, but is fickle and malleable compared to other metals and alloys that rust with age and wear and tear. You can wear gold to adorn your body but that's all the wearing you can do. It decorates otherwise plain visages, surfaces, ornaments, fixtures. Gold is valuable because it doesn't tarnish.

That's more than I can say for your reputation adored by gilded glossy words.  

Musings 23: Storytelling

I'll try not to spoil it too much but… I recently watched Moana and I loved it.

I don't have the conversation around modern female protagonists often. If you have had this conversation with me, then you'd know this: I hate most of them. Especially the ones in movies. I often feel they're one-dimensional and only are interesting if they're in a love story. They often exhibit traits like strength and stubbornness in a way that a male traditionally would. They're not allowed to be smart and likeable at the same time. There are tons of videos on YouTube about this, so I won't continue to rant about it. My issue with it is this:

Most of them don't appeal to me because they are not me.

But that's where Moana comes in. She is, in a nutshell, how many of my friends and I have grown up: full of love and cognizant of the life outside of our supportive homes. Coupled with her curiosity and resourcefulness, she's a really solid character. None of these traits are as important as the fact that Moana is ready to learn and grow.

That's where the story takes us.

But the story goes there with a lot of care and authenticity in researching and developing a story outside of the traditional Disney story arc. They consulted scholars in the Pacific about the cultures they've studied and continued to actively through the story making process. Some story elements were concepts that my friends and I recognized as part of our experiences.

The mythologies were reflective of the region without being a retelling of a story that already exists. 

I've always had a fascination with mythology. Like most people, Greek and Roman mythology was my genre of choice, and I have read multitudes of their stories since childhood. There were often overlaps in the anthologies I had read, but I studied anyway. You know, just in case I had missed a small story on the side. I moved onto Norse mythology after college, but finding comprehensive collections continued to be an obstacle. The difficulties I faced in my search nagged at me, but it also saddened me.

The old gods and old stories are dying. It's an idea that explored in reading of American Gods by Neil Gaiman. The idea is this: We’re replacing them with media that is more easily accessible and readily consumable than reading or talking. The specifics of our stories are disappearing, as are our histories, and consequently our traditions.

If you think about how stories got passed down, it was first often through oral tradition. A community comes together and learns and shares the stories with each other; from elder to child, teacher to student. The responsibility of preserving this oral tradition is given to someone equally capable of doing the telling. Once a written language is introduced, the story gets told on paper. You no longer need the community to share the story, just someone who can point you in the proper direction. With the advent of movies, you don't even need that. It's just a screen where you can passively engage with a narrative.

Think about when your friends do something, anything. They tell you, their captive audience, their experiences. Some of your friends are decidedly better at telling stories than some of your other friends, but it's ok. Storytelling is a communal experience; it's shared and savored with all its participants. It builds bonds and strengthens relationships as we invest our time in each other. But storytelling takes practice, and sometimes we need to give each other that.

 

Most people don't know the old stories, so maybe they're not as invested in it. Think about when your friends repeat the same stories; "I heard this already" is the immediate response. You don't want to hear old stories, especially if you already know them. Hollywood does this a lot with its multitude of remakes. Movies are fun but also predictable. People like stories that keep them engaged and encourage them to ask questions.

 

Disney went to those linguists and anthropologists and practitioners and choreographers and became their captive students. Each shared their own stories and objected when necessary. Instead of retelling the stories, they created a new one together. They made it right where it needed to be and took liberties where they could. Storytelling is a way of connecting with people now and with generations past. It's a way of experiencing a perspective that possibly may have been unknown to us before.

Moana didn't have a love interest, and she didn't have to. She realigns with her cultures' traditions to grow and move forward. Disney did the same. Sometimes, we have to look behind us in order to forge ahead. It's hard to find the way without conversations with people who know differently from us. These conversations are important if we ever want to get them right. I hope Disney continues to take this direction with its movies; by continuing to consult people who are immersed in the preservation of their histories. Hopefully that inspires people to see how truly wonderful other cultures and their stories are.

 

Imagine where we could go once we recognize how far we've come.

Musings 22: Day 2

In August, my brothers were here on vacation. When we went to the beach, my niece got stung by a jellyfish. Trying to reason with her was a little bit difficult. Her dad asked, "Which hurts more, this or your appendix?"

Amidst her screams and sobs and cries, she sniffled out, "This, because it hurts now."

The only thing with these wounds are that they're going to hurt more than a few hours, and more than a few days.

The past 48 hours have been a whirlwind for a lot of people. There's a lot of despair and desperation equal to the amounts of vindication and victory.

You're allowed to feel hurt, angry, sad, upset. If the other side lost, they should be allowed to feel the same way too. Some of you are gloating and some of you are mourning, but that's not what this is about. Regardless, it's a shame it had to come down to this from both sides.

Calling your political critics "dumb rednecks" or "stupid liberals" separates them from you. You remove them from their full lives as people with dreams, and hopes, and goals. You strip them of their basic desires for food and shelter, safety and purpose. They feel left behind because the common rhetoric excludes them; because they're not a minority, not an immigrant, or not a female. They might not remember that they've left you out of their narrative, leaving you small paragraphs in the annals of history. They're denigrated to the point where they won't listen to anything that you say; no matter how valid and real they are to you. Even if they've done the same to you, the only thing that's real is what they feel you've done to them.

This is your president elect. Rejecting him and protesting him separates them from you. It adds another fencepost in the walls that separate us. Failing to recognize the leader that they chose is an insult to them, especially when they feel they've done the same for you for the past 8 years. Choosing to leave is a copout and it's cowardly. They didn't leave you even if they wanted to. They feel like they've won now, and will still feel like it if you leave. Those of your peers who can't leave will have yet another person who's betrayed them too. You're giving up on the country that raised you, instead of keeping it on the ever changing path to greatness.

They've hurt you, called you names, violated you, and invalidated your experiences. That hasn't changed, it still is wrong. But admit it, you've done it to them too. You've thrown names at them just as many times; it's just unfortunate that theirs are uglier and more violent. It burns that they don't recognize the power of their words and actions, and some of them never will. Theirs instigate more pain and suffering on top of the existing wounds you wield. Their experiences prevent them from recognizing the injustices you've faced, but it doesn't mean that they should be forgotten. Just because their narrative is the prevailing narrative, it doesn't stop existing. But neither does yours.

Creating this us versus them mentality means that there only can only be one winner, one true story, one proper option, one proper type of people. It's easier to do it that way. It doesn't take much thinking to diminish someone from a complex person into a one dimensional caricature of themselves. We've ridiculed each other, hurt each other, and dismissed each other enough.

That needs to stop.

While many of us may fall closer to the middle, the ones on the fringes are dragging us down with them on both sides. We need to stop using our words to hurt and start using them to help.

It'll be hard because it means that we need to shut up and stop talking.

People's perspectives will change based on their own personal experiences, and their memories are the realest things to them. They're the only things they can validate as true because they've seen and experienced it in their own eyes. If we don't see it, it might not exist. A life of luxury doesn't exist for people who've lived in poverty all their lives; a life free of violence doesn't exist for people who see death every day. Security and safety remain dreams unless realized - if ever realized.

We need to listen to each other. Our solutions can become as complex as the people whose problems they're trying to solve. The more discussion we have between different sides, the more perspective we gain. With more perspective, we can come to a more willing compromise to achieve our end goals. We're not always going to agree, but discussing it with people will at least help them understand what they may fundamentally disagree with.

Listening happens best when you can see how someone is listening to you. Sit down and talk with each other, and let them be vulnerable in private and safely with you. Stop criticizing people on Facebook. Using your screen as a shield from confrontation also prevents us from empathizing with each other. We all know that a little more empathy is going to be needed. If we can accept that experience is the best teacher, then we need to teach each other what that means.

It'll be scary, and it will be hard. You're going to face opposition from each other now more than ever because everything we've worked for together has been invalidated by hateful speech. We can't address divisiveness with more divisiveness, because we will divide and divide until we're left tiny, single, and alone. If we don't work together, we're going to lose what already makes us great. We need to keep trying so that the sacrifices of people who have felt marginalized, been lambasted, and were dismissed are not wasted. We need to remember that everyone is valuable, as are their perspectives and experiences. Our futures need to include everyone, even those with whom we fundamentally disagree.

 

This means that we don't give up.

 

It means we have to work harder and persevere knowing that we may not win in our lifetimes. It means that no matter how many times we fail, we keep trying to help each other towards compassion and empathy. No matter how much we beat each other up, that our loyalty to our country and each other is stronger than the words and actions that divide us. We eat, we sleep, and we breathe, but we need to love more strongly than our capacities for hatred. We've seen what we can do at our absolute worst, but there is and never has been a limit or precedence for our absolute best. We need to rebuild our communities with everyone involved, no matter how resistant some of us might be to the change.

My niece remembered her prior pain, so she knew it could get better. It would. She just didn't know when. So I told her a story of a girl more clever than the people around her. She didn't let them feel stupid for not being as smart, but she helped them recognize her agency, and the power in her intelligence.

Change can happen. The Chick-Fil-A CEO did it. Other people around you can too. It means we will be need to be patient. We need to learn how to forgive each other, despite the pain that we've caused each other. Remembering prior pain doesn't mean that we forget it. However, it does mean we need to give each other space to grow. Some people may not understand it yet, but it doesn't mean that they won't ever. We won't know until we give them the chance. It'll take baby steps with each other as exercising the first reaction of compassion takes practice. It takes time. We need to give each other the time to grow, and the chance to experiment safely in places we do not understand yet.

We need to get better at sharing our stories. Our stories of love and of hate create empathy. They can instigate rage, but they can inspire hope. I talked about the idea of community last month, and we'll need it more than ever. People who understand the plight of their peers and friends need a platform to share their experiences safely. Communities of faith do a good job of creating the foundation and structure necessary in maintaining a group identity. Their weekly meetings and celebrations of faith provide consistent platform for discourse. What neither do well is making it a standard to bring these two strengths together. Our vulnerabilities and weaknesses are our best weapons in mobilizing empathy. We can't change the fundamental parts of our individual identities, but we can force people to see its importance to us. To do that, we need to see what's important to them.

America's greatness is in our ability to evolve and pivot in changing times. America's greatness is also in the communities we seek to build every day. We're all capable of the same, but we all know it needs a lot more work. Change doesn't happen overnight, and expecting it to do so leaves flimsy ground for us to stand on.

Stop yelling on Facebook and start talking to each other. Learn to become peers and allies by finding your disagreements and discussing why you feel and think the way you do. Stop interrupting and start listening. Celebrate what we do right and respectfully correct each other on what could be better. Persevere when it's difficult, and tap each other out when we're tired. We're a team. Despite all the shouting and the hate that vibrates through the air, hope remains a quiet whisper in trying times.

 

And we all need to try a little harder.

53

When these words were spoken before, they were repeated pleas to affirm what I so wanted then. The empty response was barely the remnant of an echo. Reciting them again and again diminished their meaning. Those words once powerful became a powerless please from me. 

Despite their enormity, who knew these words could be cut by hollow affirmations? That they could also be taken from people who did not know the weight of them on my lips? Each time these words were broken from me, they were hollowed of their meaning.

When silent affirmations turned into quiet whispers, you took these empty words and made them hallow. The pleas turned to peace and the repetition of the words were not made from echoes, but from fulfilled wishes.

Safe in sacred spaces, we share these words in time with the beating of our chests. And with each repetition, may our words leave our lips to reverberate from our chests.

 

Perhaps, as my final plea, may the joy we create radiate from us for each day that I'm blessed to be with you.  

 

 

 

52

It's a difficult thing to reconcile what goes on in my head. It can't just be me but who knows. 

To expect the best but also just accept that's how it is. 

To fight with what you want to do and what you should do. 

To want to cry at your own frustration or to tell yourself to suck it up because you're being a child.

I feel like I'm saying things and no one hears me, but I know that's not true. Someone else's experience doesn't invalidate mine. That's how it is for everyone's narrative though, so it doesn't make it a different feeling from everyone else's emotions. I've always said I was selfish, but when you haven't practiced how you say... an unarticulated thought is worth[ ]less than an articulated one.

 

But look, I just did it, splitting myself up again. 

 

Then again, that's just how it is. 

Musings 20: Authenticity and Faith

There's a lot of pride in being atheist, let alone agnostic, and a celebrated ridicule towards people of faith, particularly to those who subscribe to the certain brands of Christianity. How silly of them, we say, to reject science, to believe in a God who has so many contradictions, to continue to perform rituals for someone who doesn't exist.

With the Snapchat and Periscope generation, there's a great desire to prove the authenticity of things, prove that we really were there, that we did experience those things, that it can't be faked. Instead of being a culture of faith, we've become one of persecution, quickly condemning people who show an inconsistency in their being or character.

 

But why?

 

It's easy to say someone is lying when they change an opinion. You didn't believe it before, therefore you must be lying now. This desire to be genuine and unchanging in the representation of ourselves denies everyone else the ability to learn, grow, and adapt to the needs of the society around us. Maybe not on a small scale, but also on a larger scale, in politics, social justice movements, and the internet, where we quickly lambast the people who offend us by daring to disagree or believe differently.

When you scroll through comments on news articles or shared posts, people always lament the loss of humanity… And in some ways, they're right. We have lost some of our humanity in a way when we've rejected the importance of faith in our lives.

In our country, we mostly highlighted the importance of a religious type of faith. There was a belief in a being or purpose higher than us; with our micro-actions only being small contributions to a greater plan. Whether sincere or not,  there was a quiet and conscious decision to do good. Now, we choose instead, not to focus on the kindness performed, but the silent nagging idea that there was a lapse in perceived truth.

But faith isn't just religious. It's trusting in the unknown and the openness to accept that what may happen isn't what we wanted. Faith allows us to be open to other people coming into our lives, and trusting that they won't hurt us. Sometimes they do, but that's part of it. Closing ourselves off to chance puts us deep in a box governed by artificial rules. It leaves us walled off from the possibilities that some things, or some people, may surprise us.

People want to be surprised. They look for it in books, in movies, in videos shared that are shocking and powerful and will make you cry. They want to believe that there is something more than what they're seeing… That's why magic and science fiction have become entertainment staples that we hold dearly to our hearts. These themes allow us, if just for a second, that there's a chance something else or something more may exist in the time randomized combinations of actions we take every single day.

It doesn't have to be religious, and for some people, that does help. There is a community that comes with subscribing to different faiths, and different truths, and different trusts. The religion isn't the important part, but the trust that we place in each other.

I know some people have a hard time with that, we're not always the best people to each other, especially when we're working towards learning and growing on our own. We're even worse when we're ready to inflict shame instead of forgiveness in the court of the internet just to prove or disprove the authenticity of ourselves. I'm not saying to stop taking smart risks, I'm just saying believe in the surprises that may come.

While not particularly religious, I do respect what it does for other people. At the end of the day, I believe that there are people who want good things for each other, and good things for themselves. I don't need them to prove what they've done to get there, it isn't really important. I just believe in magic, that random chance leads us different ways, and trust that the people around me are just trying to create a little bit of good in their lives.

Maybe people are just trying to find magic in their own ways. Instead of trying to prove or disprove everything we see, maybe it's easier if we put down our phones and believe, if only for a second, that there's a little bit of good hiding in everything.

51

How quickly our teeth become pearly gates, damning ourselves to some unspoken fate. Hold them closed and water may leak from the sleeping waterfalls above. Speak too swiftly or too soon, and drown everyone else. The sloppy, slippery words rushing into their ears, choking them as they breathe in anticipation of speech.

Do we drown in silent secrets or in the currents we create with the dams that we break?